I AM THE FACE OF LOSS

I stumbled across this website, Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope.  This is a place where women write their stories of losing a baby (I have not been brave enough to post my story yet). It is so incredibly sad to read these stories.  These women understand my pain, unfortunately.  Talking to and reading about women who have experienced this kind of pain helps me to know that I am not crazy. I am, in fact, normal for feeling every ounce of sadness and pain that I do.

There is a stunning statistic, over 2,000 women lose their baby every single day. One out of four women will experience pregnancy loss in their lifetime. Many people are unaware that it happens so often because we don’t talk about it. Pregnancy loss is not a common topic. After experiencing it, I have a theory for why it is such a taboo topic: Women who have experienced it are afraid of making those around them uncomfortable by talking about it and their family and friends are afraid to upset them by talking about it.  

Prior to two years ago, I only knew of one person that had suffered a miscarriage or pregnancy loss.  However, over the past two years, I have had five friends suffer from a miscarriage/loss. When it happens to someone you love and then to you, those statistics become all too real.

This website started a campaign called “I AM THE FACE.” The goal of the I AM THE FACE campaign is to spread awareness of pregnancy/infant loss, and raise support for those who are affected by it. The women that started this are helping families all around the world and it’s truly amazing. I encourage you to donate $1 to this campaign here, to help support all of their efforts.  I did, because this website has helped me more than anything over the past 13 weeks.

This site offers so much support and information. I have spent countless hours on it. The women who have posted to this site offer their advice and tips for surviving the grief.

Things I have learned through this site:

-It’s ok to still feel so much pain.

-It’s ok to feel sadness when I see pregnant women and babies.

-It’s ok to dread every Saturday morning for the next 7 weeks. (Saturday’s are when I began a new week of my pregnancy and no matter where we were, it began with Rik and I lying in bed and reading about the advancements of our baby and my body that would take place over the next week.)

-It’s ok to dread May 12th.

-It’s ok to allow myself to feel everything. Happy, sad, angry, helpless, bitter…

-It’s ok to want to talk freely about Joey without feeling like I am making everyone uncomfortable.

-It’s ok to want more than anything to hold my baby one more time.

-It's ok to feel like I am never going to be my "normal" self again.