The Battle

I have realized that healing from the loss of Joey is going to be a process that will probably take the rest of my life. Yesterday, a great friend said to me, “it’s ok to never move on from losing Joey.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. I know I will never move on from losing him, but to have someone reassure me that it's okay means so much.

I have always been one to put a lot of pressure on myself. This fault of mine (the only one, I assure you!) is causing a war inside of me. I am applying this pressure to find my new “normal” self and move past the grief. Part of me is really trying to heal and be a strong person. No one likes (or knows how to deal with) the sad person who is self-absorbed in grief, including me. 

The other part of me says, absolutely no way, I am a mess. I need to be sad and angry, I lost a baby that I loved and wanted more than anything. He was a product of my husband's and my love. He was ours.

Every day is a new battle. However, just like true wars, the battle will one day end and I will wake up and not spend my day fighting. The scar from my wound will still be there, but the war will have ended.

In the meantime, I will fight. Some days I will be strong, others I will melt with tears. It’s all part of my new "normal."

17 Weeks

Dear Joey-

Today, 17 weeks since I delivered you silently, I miss you more than ever.

Love,

Mom

Guest Post

I am the guest sponsor today at my bff's blog, Running in Stilettos. Thanks Holly for letting my hijack your place!

I would like to wish a warm welcome to everyone that has stopped by and said hi today :)

Enjoy!

Daily Deals

As promised, today I will let you in on my dirty little secret… I am obsessed with daily deals websites!

Checking said sites, may or may not be, one of the first things I do upon my arrival at work.

My newest find: Zulily.

You may already know about this site, if not I suggest you check it out. The target audience is moms. However, if you don’t have children don’t let that deter you, it has something for every woman.  They have great deals on clothing and accessories (along with home goods, maternity wear, baby clothes, etc.).

They spotlight different designers every day and offer discounts on their lines. I could spend hours perusing the deals and deciding on what to purchase. For example, Saturday they advertised a website full of summer dresses for $8.99! Yep, I bought this one.

Other daily deal sites that I frequent include:

Groupon. I highly suggest you check this daily (or a few times a week).  I am now a Groupon VIP!  A year of cosmo for $5.99, a trip to NYC for $50, $40 worth of food at Wine Guy for $20, eight dog washes at the local pet store for $20.  How can a girl turn these deals down?!

Woot. My husband turned me on to this site. (He can deny it all that he wants, he is as much of a sucker for daily deals as I am!) They offer one deal a day and when it’s gone, it’s gone. The parent site tends to offer more tech type deals, nonetheless good deals. I would estimate that we have over 30 cords/wires/whatevers that he has bought from this site. If you need a cord, chances are we have at least two to spare. Right, babe?!

Woot also offers several subsidiary sites that have daily deals: Community Deals, Wine Deals and Home Deals.

All of these sites have apps that make it nice and easy to be a sucker (like me) and spend your money on things that you probably don’t need, but buy because it’s a good deal. 

Now that I have let you in on my dirty secret, enjoy :)

Oh, and if you have a deals site that you frequent, you better clue me in!

Project Updates

Oh Monday, we meet again…

How was your weekend?

We had a lovely weekend. Friday, I helped celebrate the birth of a great friend. Saturday, I went to my sister’s softball game and then took her dress shopping for her first spring formal! Yesterday, I ran six miles and finished a few projects around the house.

Speaking of projects, here are a few updates:

Project One: Half Marathon. I am not exactly sure this counts as a project, but we are going to go with it! I am going to attempt this marathon. My trainer (aka Holly) keeps telling me I am going to be fine and I can do it. We ran six miles yesterday! It is nowhere near the 13.1 that we will run in a mere three weeks, but I felt pretty good doing it.

Project Two: New Washer and Dryer. I wrote about this adventure here. Let me just say, I am in love with my new washer and dryer.

The first washing machine that was delivered was faulty. This made us really nervous about the quality. When the delivery men showed up with the second washing machine, they could tell by looking at the first one that it had a bad motor. They assured us it was a bad apple and not reflective of the quality.

The new one works like a charm! If you are in the market for new, I would recommend these in a heartbeat. They are big and beautiful and awesome. They even sing a little song when the cycle is over (this is Rik's favorite part, he does a little dance).

Before the set were delivered, we put a fresh coat of paint on the walls and bought a fun wall decal.

Our laundry room has officially been renovated.

Project Three: Garden. I planted the beginnings of my garden a few weeks ago. I can’t believe how well it is doing. I had to transplant the zucchini plant because it got too big for the container. I foresee lots of fresh salsa in my future!

 

Have a great day!

Tomorrow I will write about my new addiction…

Easter Weekend

Sorry, it has been a few days! Life has been so busy lately.

I hope you had a wonderful Easter. We visited my family for the weekend and had all sorts of celebrations: Baby showers, birthdays and Easter.

On Saturday, we hosted a baby shower for my brother and his girlfriend, who are due to welcome my niece, Lily in early June! We decided to do a couple’s shower to include my brother. We played the diaper game, which I highly recommend if you have to host a shower in the future. To play, you take eight diapers and fill them with food that looks like baby poop and then guests have to guess what the food is. For example, we melted a Hershey’s kiss for one diaper and smashed a spoon full of peas for another. This game is gross and hysterical! Here are a few shots from the day:

Later that evening, we had a birthday party for the seven March birthdays in my family. Gathering with my family is always fun and full of laughter.

Sunday we started with Easter mass and then celebrated the day with my dad’s side of the family.

 Rik, my Brother, Sister and me!



My Dad, Brother, Sister and Me!

I can’t believe tomorrow is Thursday already! Geesh.

Happy Hump Day!

Rudi

Six years ago this little guy was born.



I will never forget the day we brought him home. Tubby, as he was named, was six weeks old and looked so small in my backseat. Little did we know that sweet little pup was going to grow up to be 120 pounds!

Rudi, Rudi-Bear, Rudi-Man or Bub (all names he will respond to) is one of the loves of my life! If you know me well, you know Rudi. He is a gentle giant and wants nothing more than a little love (and maybe a walk) every now and then.  

He is a bit spoiled. His birthday celebrations included a small piece of steak with asparagus (leftover from dinner) and a nice long walk!

Sweet puppy!

This guy loves to swim.

Thanks Aunt Steph for the photo shoot!

Seriously Mom?! Why are you so close?!

Look at that face!