Eight Years

Wow, I didn’t realize it has been two weeks since the last time you have heard from me.  It has been a busy few weeks.

We have spent the past two weekends on the road visiting our families.  It is always nice to spend time with them.  It doesn’t happen very often that we get to go and spend the entire weekend, but the past two weeks we were able to do exactly that! We were able to wish Rik’s grandpa a happy birthday and visit with his family and we were able to get my sister ready for her winter formal and visit with my family.

Being busy has been good for me. I am trying with every ounce of my body to get through losing Joey. I spend most of my days pretending like everything is fine and going to be fine. I had a woman at work tell me “Fake it ‘til you make it.” I have tried my best.  However, the past few days have been rough and I am learning to realize that things aren’t fine, and that I don’t have to fake it. I have a really good excuse for not being ok. So I asked for you, as you are reading this, to understand that I am trying but that I am not always ok.  

Today is a reminder that life isn’t easy. Life isn’t fair. Sometimes, you lose people that you love way too soon.  Eight years ago today, I lost two really good friends to a senseless act.

Throughout your life, you develop friendships with lots of people. You have friends that you met at work, friends from college, friends that you met through other friends and friends that have been your friends forever.

I love and adore every single one of my friends. I would not be the person that I am without them. However, if you are like me, those friends that have been your friends forever, holds a special place in your heart.  I grew up in a small town. In doing so, I went to school with the same people from kindergarten through my senior year (all 68 of them!).  I learned to read with these girls. I shared my first drink with these girls. I went through puberty and those awful ugly, finding yourself years, with these girls. I went to prom with these girls. I skipped school with these girls (sorry Mom!) I fought with these girls about who said what, to who and when. I love these girls.

My group of childhood friends spent every waking moment together. We didn’t knock when we went to each other’s houses; we simply went in, sat down and became part of the family. I can still tell you most of my childhood friends’ home address and phone number.

If you have these friends, you know that when you went away to college, you didn’t see these girls everyday anymore. You didn’t talk to them as often, but that bond that you shared didn’t go away. I spent every day of the first 18 years of my life with these girls. A bond doesn’t break that easily. I still see these girls and our friendships don’t skip a beat. You would never know that it has been over a decade since we graduated.

I would say that there was a consistent group of 12 girls that were best friends. Two of those girls were killed in a car accident eight years ago today. Two men senselessly decided to drag race on a winding road, killing Jena and Jenna in the process.

Before losing Joey, those days that followed their deaths were among the hardest in my life. At the age of 19, we spent an entire weekend attending funerals for two girls that we had known and loved since we were five. We were devastated.

These girls were taken from this world way to soon.

Jena and Jenna- We love and miss you!!  Please take care of my Joey.

Love you girls!